Nose Hair

Be thankful for nose hairs people! Mine are all gone and let me tell you I'm missing them terribly! My nose has officially become a leaky faucet that I can't turn off. I bent over today and it just came dripping right out onto the floor(thankfully none of my students seemed to notice, because you know it isn't that they're just too polite to say anything...). Ick ick ick!

Looking forward to a lovely lazy weekend!

Caution! Edgy

First off, I'm feeling pretty good physically today. I got a good night's sleep and my gullet is more normal (note to self: don't go off the prilosec during chemo week). The only problem is that I'm beginning to realize how fragile I am emotionally. All the stresses I carry around about cancer, appointments, medical tests, teaching, what's in store for me after this round of chemo, (the list is endless), are catching up to me. I am now beginning to understand why so many people in my situation depend on chemicals to keep them sane. In an effort to avoid those chemicals (and their side effects) I'm trying other things.

Today I found iTunes U. If you haven't delved into this treasure trove, I highly recommend it! Classes on anything and everything you can think of from some seriously legit places! Now that I'm getting chemo at a place with WiFi, I might just sit and watch a class during my next drip. I'm getting ahead of myself... Today I downloaded a "class" from UCLA - Recreation called "Yoga Nidra". Holy moly! I went into it a skeptic, but you wouldn't believe how refreshed I felt after just 15 minutes!

Heart Rate

The last several days I've noticed that my heart has been beating very fast. It makes me feel caffeinated and a little edgy. Given the fact that Herceptin sometimes causes damage to your heart muscle, I was worried. So when I went in for my drip today and my heart was still going really fast I asked the nurses about it. They thought it was ok, but they called the doctor in. I talked it through with the doctor, she listened to my heart (which had settled down by this point). Everything sounded ok to her, but to be sure she ordered an EKG. Within about 10 minutes I had an EKG and my heart looks normal (what a relief!). I'll get an appointment with the cardiologist to have an echocardiogram. I had one of those before I started chemo and it is just about time to check and make sure everything is still looking good.

In other news, my liver enzymes are looking much better this week. This is especially surprising since I'm just a week out from chemo. I figure it is a good sign.

Next week will be a big week. I'm going in for a CT Scan of my liver to see how it is responding to the chemo. Fingers crossed that things look as good there as they do in my breast!

All my stress over this stuff has made me realize how important it is for me to find ways to relax. Walking the dog, meditating and taking a bath before bed have all gone a long way to keeping me sane! I need to keep making time for all that stuff (and more).

After being sick for more than 2 weeks, off and on, Keith finally went to the doctor today. Turns out he's not contagious anymore, he might have had more than one cold, but he's gonna be ok. I just feel better knowing he's gotten checked out. His doc said it could be another week or so but he should start clearing up. He needs to rest up so he can be a good host to his folks, who are coming out for a visit in less than 2 weeks!

What a difference 3 miles makes.

So yesterday (a day late, not bad) I had my third chemo day. This means I'm halfway done with this round (we'll just wait and see what comes next). The bigger news is the infusion center at the cancer center over in Berkeley is WAY different from the little infusion center at my doctor's office in Oakland. In every way other than actual distance they are miles apart. I'm not sure which I prefer, but I will say there is a boat load more bureaucratic bullshit at the Berkeley infusion center. I suppose it's unavoidable because it is just so much bigger, but holy cow- do I really need to give you my name and date of birth every time you bring over a new bag of cancer killing stuff (between premeds, chemo and Herceptin I have 8 different bags of crap)?!? There's more, but I won't bore you with it today. The biggest bummer is that I can't get in for my weekly Herceptin drip any later than 3pm (and even that is with special dispensation). Usually their last appointment is at 2:30 (note: the Berkeley infusion center stays open until 7, other note: I never spent more than 1.5 hours in the Oakland office for my weekly drip (and that includes a lot of waiting around)). The reason this is a drag is that I don't get out of work until 3:05, so I've got to get someone to cover my class every Tuesday for the rest of the year (not the worst thing in the world, but...). I guess the benefits of the smaller office Oakland office is that there are less hard and fast rules and more "make it work" kind of flexibility.

Lest you think all I do is bitch on this blog, there are some benefits to the new place.

1. They seem way better at keeping me well informed of meds, lab results, etc. (to the point of it being over the top, but I appreciate it).
2. The nurse practitioner that I'll work with there seems GREAT! Way more accessible and engaged than the one that I worked with at the other office.
3. It sounds like the oncologist will stop in and see me each week while I'm getting my infusion. We'll see how that shakes out.
4. The facility is much newer, but that is balanced by its lack of natural light.
5. I'm waiting to see how the wait times are. Yesterday I spent a lot of time waiting, but that may well have been due to the fact that they were squeezing me in.

Sorted Out (sort of...)

I'm scheduled for chemo tomorrow! Yippee.

The Berkeley office got approval from the insurance for the Carboplatin and the Taxotere (my two chemo meds) but not for the Herceptin (the targeted therapy). WTF?!?!? Who knows. I'll put a call in tomorrow morning and try to figure out what the heck is going on. The only trick is I had to agree to pay for the Herceptin if for some stupid reason the insurance company doesn't approve it.

Frustration!

So not only did I catch a cold, but I'm dealing with the most stupid insurance glitch you can imagine! It turns out my oncologist is only an in-network provider at her Berkeley office not at her Oakland office (why she has two offices less than five miles apart I don't really understand). This means that we're getting billed 20% of the cost of my treatment (thankfully we have an out-of-pocket limit of $2000/year, but still...). To deal with this snafu, I've been transferred to the Berkeley office. This would all be fine and good if this hadn't happened Friday afternoon when I'm due for chemo on Monday morning, URGH! Feel free to stop reading, I'm just going to continue my rant...

So before I can get any treatment at the Berkeley office, I need to have an appointment with my doctor (just bureaucratic BS that is necessitated by the fact that the Berkeley office is a much larger place than the Oakland office). So I go today at 11:30 to meet with the doctor, explain what's going on, tell her I have a cold, pass on the good news about the ultrasound from last week and talk through how to organize treatment. She seemed hopeful they could squeeze me in today and then her nurse came in to help coordinate the appointments. The nurse said there was no way to get in today, but she'd work on it so I could get in as soon as possible (usually it takes a week to get in - not acceptable!).

So Mom and I leave (yeah, my Mom is back! Poor thing is bored out of her skull since Keith and I are both wiped out from this cold). I get home and call my "member champion" at the insurance company. Yes, I have a personal contact at the insurance company to help me navigate this crap (thank goodness). I asked her if she could help expedite the approval of my chemo meds (that have already been approved for use in Oakland) so I can get treatment this week. She was super helpful and while she doesn't do the approvals, she gave me the number of the person who does. I tried the number and only got a voicemail. We'll see how this all shakes out... I'm just in awe of how difficult it is to get the same treatment from the same doctor in an office just 3 miles away. Stupid!

Now I'm going to lie down and read a stupid book and try to relax (and get over this cold) while other people try to figure this shit out.

Progress!

I had a quick appointment with my breast surgeon today. He did a quick ultra-sound to see how the chemo is working (ultra-sounds are a cheap way to check on things, unlike the $6000 PET CT)). The first good sign was he couldn't feel the lump! Yippee! He managed to find it with the ultra-sound, but it is WAY smaller (instead of 3-4 cm it is .3-.8cm depending on the angle). Good news!

In other news, Keith is SICK with a nasty cold. He's tired, he's got a cough and a slight fever. My fingers are all crossed that I don't get this! Who would have thought that the one not getting chemo would get sick first!?!?