The Best Words Ever!

"Your brain MRI is clear." -Dr. Z

Thanks for all the prayers, crossed fingers, good vibes and good thoughts! Happy Weekend!!

Waiting Rooms and Doorsteps Piled with Treats!

Warning I'm gonna rant for a moment...

The last two afternoons I've gotten coverage for my last class (everyone at school has been amazingly supportive!) so I can go to appointments. Both afternoons I've watched the clocks in the waiting rooms click away (actually I watch my phone, because they don't have clocks in waiting rooms!!). In the end I could have stayed at work for the full day both days because people were running so late. This pisses me off. I understand about emergencies and the like, but urgh.

Now the good stuff...

I came home this afternoon to find a pile of all sorts of treats from various family members. If you live nearby, you might want to swing by for some Godiva chocolates, H&H bagels, smoked salmon, amazing English cheddar cheese, brownies, fresh bread and I might even read to you from one of my the addicting and kinda scary books. Thanks to all of you. Keith and I feel quite loved (and FULL).

The brain MRI went fine today (when I finally got in). Keith would have totally freaked out if he had gotten his head clamped in and then got shoved into that tiny tube. Not sure when we'll get the results. Not super keyed up about it either (not sure why).

The insurance company approved the chemo as well as some other diagnostic tests (yippee, more tests). Doctor Y was expecting it to take 1-2 weeks to get the chemo approved, so this is great news! We're feeling lucky to have good insurance.

I'm still working to figure out how to deal with work, but I can't even describe how supportive and accommodating my boss is. There are a lot of unknowns, but I have options and flexibility. Keith's work has continued to be amazingly supportive and understanding of all his time spent not working on the movie (which happens to be in crunch time). We're lucky fuckers (well kinda).

Easy Chairs and IVs

These things are in my future!

We just got done with a marathon session where we met the oncologist and previewed the new chemo digs. The oncologist (Dr. Y) is very serious and frank but in a comforting and thorough way. Sounds like I'm in it for the long haul here. My first chemo session will happen as soon as the insurance approves. Then I'll have chemo every three weeks for the next 18 weeks. That's the current plan...

I've got a few more tests in my future, but none sound quite as bad as that PET CT. I'll have an ultrasound of my heart to get a baseline before I start chemo. One of the drugs I'll be getting can damage the heart muscle, so I'll be getting these periodically. I'll also have a CAT scan of my liver also for a baseline before I start chemo. Thankfully PET CT's are too expensive to use as a routine check of how the cancer is responding to chemo, so I'll just be getting these every so often to check the kill rate.

I also got a script for a wig. Holy moly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that shit. Keith swears he's gonna shave his head in solidarity (I'll believe it when I see it).

The next decision is how to deal with work. I'm not sure yet what I want to do (or will be able to do). Ideally I'd keep working, but I don't think I'll be able to work full time for a while. Still figuring this part out, lots to consider.

Brain scan tomorrow, should be a party. It'd be nice to get some good news for a change and have this one be clear! Keep your fingers crossed.

As an aside Red (our dog) has been super well behaved. I think he knows something is up (what a love).

The Waiting Game

I put in a full day's work today. It was good to get back to it. I feel pretty much back to normal after the surgery. The portacath is still a really alien thing though. I catch myself moving a certain way and feeling it in there (ick, ick). I'm getting much more used to it and I'll be relieved to put it to use (and avoid all the sticks!).

In the back of my mind all day were the results from my PET CT, so I called the Doctor as soon as I got home. He called me back a couple hours later with the results. The bad news is that there is cancer in my liver (fuck, fuck, fuck!). The good news is they don't see it anywhere else (not even any other lymph nodes).

So, I have stage IV breast cancer (fuck, fuck, fuck!).

We're headed to the oncologist tomorrow afternoon to talk about the "cocktail" I'll be getting to kill this shit.

Even though the news is bad, we're counting our blessings that it isn't worse (and it could've been WAY worse). We're hanging in there and looking forward to watching LOST tonight.

Two More Tests Down

Both the breast MRI and the PET CT went fine. I'm feeling like a much happier person now that I can eat carbs again. I can't tell you how much I wanted some kind of bread/cracker/donut/cookie/potato over the last 24 hours or so. Keith kindly bought me my favorite Pixar meal (smoked salmon pizza). I'm now relaxing comfortably eating and watching some TV.

All this testing is making me very glad I'm not claustraphobic. All I could think of as I was strapped in and moving into the tunnel was how much Keith would hate it. If he ever needs one, he's going to have to get some serious meds!

No appointments tomorrow, just work. I'm looking forward to it!

pets and cats

E is off at the PET/CT scan place.  I'm at work trying to contribute a little bit.  She assured me she'd be fine and wanted me to sit this one out.  She texted me saying that, in going with the theme of the day, she was just sitting and waiting again.  They must've called her in though cuz she didn't respond to that last great joke I sent her.  She said the barium was making her feel pretty oogley, to which I responded to look on the bright side- at least she's radioactive.  Sorry, just gotta make light of it sometimes.  Thanks for all the good thoughts everyone.

Early appointments....

E is in for her MRI. We arrived at 630am, and after 6 minutes of
paperwork, we sat for another hour. The wizard of oz is playing on the
tv. Loud. It's very random and bizarre background sounds. She should
be out soon.

Sleepy Sunday

Still just laying low today. The doctor said I could resume regular activities immediately, but I just don't see how that's possible. I'm off the serious pain meds and feel pretty good, but I'm crazy tired. I'm going to force myself to get cleaned up and get out of the house today. I'm sure just getting out of the house will help.

I seem to be healing up fine. I've got a day of testing ahead of me tomorrow, but it should go easily (except for the gross banana flavored barium smoothy I have to drink, I'm dreading that!).

Home.

We finally got home around 8pm. Eileen was super groggy but now she's
mostly herself, just drowsy. Some pain meds and lots of icepacks are
doing their thing. Some sprite and saltines are going down fine-
nausea is gone. Found some nice stupid tv, threw the ball for red, fed
all the animals, wolfed down some leftover pasta myself, and......I'm
gonna call that a day. We're smiling about having this step over with.

Later.

Doctor times

I'm learning that when a doctor says "about an hour" that really means
more like 2+ hours. The nice staff in the family resource center
(it's a really nice waiting room) has confirmed that theory for me.

Upcoming appointments

Monday 2/22
630am breast MRI
230pm PET CT scan

Wednesday 2/24
230pm meet with oncologist

Thursday 2/25
3pm brain MRI
430pm meet with drZ for followup

Sounds fun eh? Not.

Couple more tidbits

While I'm waiting to see E again in recovery- not sure if she said so
in the last post, but along with installing the port, the doc also did
a biopsy of her right armpit lymphnode, another biopsy of the tumor in
her right breast, and also a skin biopsy of her right breast. She's
put up with a whole lotta bullshit today and I know she's gonna be
happy to be resting at home tonight. I'm hoping she won't be too
uncomfortable but I'll do what I can to make that happen. Hopefully
there's some good trashy tv on tonight, though I bet we'll both zonk
out pretty quickly.

A bit of a break

Hi it's Keith. E's in recovery right now after getting the port
installed. Doc called and said it went well. Bad news is the lymph
node has cancer but we kinda knew that. Better news is that the
pathology is saying it's HER-2 positive, which allows us better
treatment options moving forward. Can't wait to see Eileen again....
It's been a really long fucking day. Pardon my French, but we are
talking about fucking cancer here. Fuck that. Thanks for all the good
thoughts. We're doing the best we can. More later.

Keith

I have cancer

Guess what? I have cancer.

To be more specific I have invasive ductile carcinoma in my right breast and ductile carcinoma in situ in my left breast. WTF!?

Here's the basic timeline:

January 22nd

I found a lump in my right breast and made an appointment with the nurse practitioner at my doctor's office.

January 29th

I had mammograms done of both breasts. I knew things weren't good when I was pulled in for an ultrasound too. Afterwards the radiologist tells me it doesn't look good and I need biopsies of both breasts. Holy Crap, both breasts!?!?!

February 3rd

I had an ultrasound biopsy of my right breast. Not a fun way to spend the afternoon, but I felt fine going to work the next day.

February 16th

Part I:

Keith and I meet with my breast surgeon (Dr. Z) and he confirms that I have invasive ductile carcinoma in my right breast. We spend an hour and a half learning more than we ever wanted to know about breast cancer.

Part II:

I had my other biopsy later this afternoon. This one was a stereotactic biopsy and I thought it'd be easier, but no such luck. I was a mess, nervous at first and bleeding like a stuck pig at the end (actual horror show stuff). Thankfully Dr. Z's partner came over and figured out what was going on and got it all under control.

February 18th

Keith and I met with Dr. Z again today. The preliminary pathology report on the left breast is back and I have cancer there too. It is much earlier stage, but it is strange to have cancer in both sides (especially since I'm pretty young). The doctor thinks I may have the breast cancer gene. I'll know for sure when the genetic testing comes back. An interesting aside, the breast cancer gene is called BRCA and those letters don't stand for Breast Cancer but for Berkeley, California (the city where it was discovered).

Things are moving quickly now...I got myself scheduled for surgery tomorrow. Nothing big, Dr. Z will put in a port (for my chemo that I'll start soon), take some more samples of the lump in my right breast (to do some genetic testing) and to do a skin biopsy on my right breast too. This is just an outpatient thing, so I'll be home relaxing tomorrow night.

Between Keith and I we're going to keep this up to date as much as possible. It'll be an easier way to get information to our family and friends all at once.

Thanks in advance for all your good thoughts, well wishes and help during this craptastic time. We'll be pulling out on the other side before too long!! Our spirits are high, we've got good smart people working on this and we'll figure it out.