Do What Feels Good and Makes You Happy

The title is a quote from the new doctor on my team (my symptom management doctor).  The focus now is on keeping me comfortable.  I'm not stopping treatment, but I definitely have more symptoms from cancer and all the drugs I'm taking than I've ever had before.  My legs are ridiculously weak, even with all my walking I'm having trouble getting around.  If you see me, I'll probably have my hiking poles (and if not watch out!).  I take a while to get up from the seat and God forbid I have to get up from the floor... that takes a lot of work.  I'm pretty bummed about all that because I've worked so hard to stay pretty active and that's getting harder.  It isn't impossible and I'm still managing to get 2+ miles in each day, but I'm a lot slower lately.  I just don't know how much longer I can keep it up.  We asked the symptom management doctor if I should, for instance, try to strengthen my legs somehow, like maybe work them out.  He replied that if working out makes me happy, then go for it....but if it's never been a pleasure for me before, then don't.  Basically; only do things that make me feel good and feel happy.  Anyway, fingers crossed that things stabilize or even get a little better.

I have a pretty light appointment week (a nice change).  Other than my symptom management doc and an appointment at the DMV, I'm free!  That makes more time for catching up with friends and spending time with the family that has come to town.  It was sad to send my sister back east last night, but this afternoon, my mom, two aunts and an uncle arrived!  They're here for a little bit to visit us and do a little exploring in the Bay Area (tomorrow they're off to Muir Woods).  I haven't seen my aunts and uncle in so long, it is wonderful to have them here.



I finally took the plunge and got a handicap placard.  It isn't that I can't get around at all, but it sure will be nice to park close (and free street parking).  Haven't really put it to use yet, but am looking forward to it (especially at Whole Foods in Oakland - I am done hauling groceries up those fucking stairs!!).



I'm late reporting this (self-centered):  Several weeks ago Keith took a leave from work to hang with me (drive me to my many appointments, deal with the animals, take care of the house, take care of me, etc.).  The fact that this is even a possibility is a godsend.  We feel very lucky that he works at a GREAT place with so much support.  In fact, today his manager came by with a card FILLED with well wishes and generous gift certificates to our favorite spots.  All this shit is hard, but it would be so much harder if we didn't have such support and love.  Thank you!!